By Michael Kobito

To many, student success is measured by how impressive a child’s resume is as they prepare competitive applications for college admission. I saw this repeatedly as a high school band director. I spent most of my time teaching ninth through twelfth-grade students and was fortunate to help at our local middle schools, easing the transition for the students when they moved to high school. Even from sixth grade, students were talking about what they were going to do to be competitive, and more disturbingly, they were becoming self-conscious, insecure, and saddened by the successes of their peers. 

Thinking about your campus, you can likely picture the students whose days are overfilled with advanced academics, sports, clubs, and the perpetual pursuit of being “cool.” Our students often are relentlessly stacking achievements to secure scholarships and admission to the most elite institutions. While most see this as a pursuit of excellence, we are now seeing there is something else happening too. 

As I saw the adverse effects, I tried to remind my students to enjoy the moments, to stop chasing the supposed greener grass. When our students get to graduation day and truly reflect, they realize that in the pursuit of this “success,” they missed the richness of their journey. 

In the world of education and life, we often find ourselves fixated on the idea that the grass is greener on the other side. We can’t help but compare ourselves to others, measure our success against theirs, and in the process, forget to appreciate the beauty of our own journey. But what if we could teach our students to tend to their own gardens and seek out their full picture? Here are two strategies that can positively steer student reflection and help them embrace their own path to success.

Idea #1 – Tend to Your Own Garden

I saw a story on Instagram about a guy that was obsessed with his lawn. He was a complete amateur landscaper, only having worked on his own yard and learning everything from YouTube, but he was meticulous about every aspect of his yard. He was gaining followers online when he decided to “scalp” his grass, cutting it extra short for the sake of its own health. Many questioned his decision. Some even celebrated the opportunity to surpass his yard’s perfection, but ultimately, he understood that the vibrant green grass was the result of an entire process, not just the moments people saw online. It was a lesson in focusing on your own journey and trusting that, with dedication, your grass can be just as green.

This realization is something we should share with our students. Success isn’t about comparison; it’s about learning, growing, and trusting the process. Comparison robs us of joy. Each student has their own unique path, and it’s up to them to nurture it. With teachers guiding their reflection, every student’s journey can lead to a place where genuine pride can be found within.

To get started with this idea, try being open about your own growth in this area. Our students notice the behaviors we model, and when we model this behavior and are vulnerable enough to share this part of our journey with them, they’ll be more likely to buy in too! 

Idea #2 – Seek Out the Full Picture

The world is filled with vibrant colors, but green is scientifically the most visible. Why? Because it stands out, even from a distance. It’s the color our eyes pick up with the most ease. On the contrary, red, the least visible color from a distance, represents pessimism and warnings. It serves as a stop sign, standing out against the sea of green.

Most students, however, find themselves lost in the prism. They gaze at the distant green pastures, envious and overwhelmed, convinced that the grass is always greener. But if only they took the time to look inward, they’d realize that their own yard is just as lush and inviting, with more vivid shades of green. 

Comparison may steal our joy, but neglecting to reflect suppresses joy more. Our role as educators is to guide our students toward healthy reflection and to support them in learning, leaning in, and trusting that their grass is green and getting greener with every step of their journey.

Get started here with simple, small steps in class. On the next assignment or quiz, include a bonus question that allows space for reflection. Set the question up in such a way that your students have permission to reflect without the fear of judgment or punishment, and congratulate them on this positive step. You’ll notice your students start to blossom here if you plant the seed and allow it to grow. 

In the end, let’s celebrate our individual journeys, nurture our own gardens, and seek the whole picture to find joy and success right where we are.