By Tim Elmore

An experiment was conducted at an airport, where passengers in the TSA line were asked to allow others to cut in front of them. In this experiment, passengers were far more likely to allow others to pass in front of them when they offered a simple “why.” It could be as plain as “I am running late” or “I need to get to my gate quickly.” Once the researchers gave a reason for their request, it made a significant difference. The “why” didn’t matter as long as a person included one. 

The Power of “Why”

Each day, we request our team members, family members, and even strangers we meet to do something. Usually, we’re in such a hurry we merely relay what we want, and not why. We feel that our statement of desire should be enough. But our people are so inundated with demands for their time, it’s the requests that make sense to them that get through. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a pitch on social media, an email or text message they just received, or an appeal someone made in person—people only have a capacity for so many requests, and most reach their limit daily. Adding a “why” helps listeners make sense of it. 

If there’s anything that can frustrate a supervisor, coach or parent, it’s employees, team members or children who don’t follow through on directions. As leaders, we should offer autonomy as much as possible, but from time to time, they must comply with specific instructions or imperatives. 

That’s where some Harvard research is very helpful. It’s all about the power of why. 

Clarity and Motivation 

When giving staff rules or instructions to follow, our requests should always include:

1. Clarity—our direction should be crystal clear to the listener.
2. Motivation—our direction should include a “why” in its midst.

If it doesn’t, people (especially some personalities) will find loopholes to work around and never comply. The more clarity and motivation you offer, the better. Two examples: 

At Work 

• Good: I need this project finished by Friday. 
• Better: I need this project finished by Friday so we can meet the deadline.
• Best: I need this project finished by Friday at noon, so marketing can promote it. 

At Home

• Good: Put your phone away in a few minutes.
• Better: Put your phone away in ten minutes because we’re eating at 6:00. 
• Best: Put your phone away in ten minutes because dinner is at 6:00, and we must get it all cleaned up before the rehearsal at 7:00. 

Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer made an amazing discovery when she conducted research on why people agree to do things when asked. Her data shows that if people understand why you ask them to do something, they’re more likely to do what you ask. When we ask people to do something, there is a magic word that triggers the brains of most listeners: Because. This one word conveys the why behind our decisions and motivates the response of a person. In Dr. Langer’s study, she had people ask a fellow employee to cut in line at a copy machine three different ways:

1. “Excuse me, I have 5 pages. May I use the Xerox machine?”
2. “Excuse me, I have 5 pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I need to make copies?”
3. “Excuse me, I have 5 pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I’m in a rush?” 

The two requests that included a “because” got more than 90 percent compliance. The first one got only 60 percent. Even when the second one didn’t offer much incentive at all, it still received a compliant response. It’s amazing what the word “because” accomplishes. 

It’s About Context and Humanity 

When we share the reason behind our request, it helps others look past themselves and process the bigger picture. They see beyond their own convenience. It offers context that motivates. In fact, I have found context explains conduct. And so often, people only need a small nudge to act. The “why” is the context for that nudge. 

Recently, I requested a team member to send me some reports. I gave him plenty of time as I knew it represented quite a bit of information. By the end of the week, I had not heard back from him. It was then that I inserted my “because.” I shot a note to him saying, “Hey—I need that research by the end of the day because my board report is coming up.” I had them within an hour. Doubtless, he felt bad and should have replied the first time. But as a human, he was motivated by a why.

Our daughter Bethany has a very laid-back personality. When she was younger, she almost always ran late to catch the bus for school. My wife Pam would encourage her to lay out her clothes the night before to remove some of the drama from the next day’s routine. Yet each morning, we just couldn’t motivate her. One evening, I recall my wife putting this research into practice without even knowing. She said, “BJ, I’d like you to get your school clothes out tonight because I don’t want you to run late tomorrow and be flustered.” That did the trick.

If you give your people a “why,” they can endure almost any “what” or “how.”