Why Discipline Is Better Than Punishment
Some time ago, I spoke at an educator event in Missouri. During the Q and A period, a gentleman raised his hand with a deep concern: “Today, it seems like we’re quick to penalize (even suspend) students for wrong behavior more quickly than when I was in high school. Do you see the same thing?” The fact is—I do see the same
How Generation Z Shops and What It Means for Us to Teach Them
If you are communicating with middle school, high school or college students, you already know they’ve grown up in the digital world. They are the Touchscreen Generation, also known as “screenagers.” It may surprise you to discover, then, that 98 percent of them still shop in brick and mortar stores—some or most of the time. Even though many shopping malls
Three Ways to Beat Social Media Addiction
For three years, we’ve heard teens say in our focus groups that they are “addicted to social media.” In fact, it’s been said so often, it almost sounds cliché. Today, however, some of the early pioneers of social media platforms admit they purposely created features that not only lure us into overuse, but they hold us on a social media platform
Are We Really Wasting Time When We Play?
Last month, I enjoyed hearing best-selling author Daniel Pink at our RoundTable for Principals in Atlanta. Dan shared some highlights from his newest book, “When,” which is all about the science behind the best ways to leverage our time. Part of his session was about when we (and our kids) take time to play. Fred Rogers, from Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, once said,
What Effective Leaders Know About Handling Conflict
We live in a day of irony. When I look at our society, I see more conflict today than we’ve had in the past—politics, gender equality, racial equality, immigration, you name it. At the same time, it feels like we don’t know how to handle conflict in a productive manner. Want a fresh illustration? It appears that “ghosting” has made its way
Seven Leadership Lessons from Mr. Rogers
In June, a movie was released in select theaters across the country: “Won't You Be My Neighbor?” It was a well-done documentary on the life and career of Fred Rogers, the man who hosted the show we came to know as kids—Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood. My entire family enjoyed the inside story of how this person caught his vision to impart
The Fine Line Between Free Speech and Inclusive Language
Earlier this year, a firestorm erupted between guardians of “free speech” and those who are trying to safeguard inclusive language. I’d like to hear your thoughts. A handful of students from Syracuse fraternity “Theta Tau” held a private “roast” this past semester. They lambasted others who were not present, in a frolicking party that got recorded and posted on Facebook. Doubtless
Happy Independence Day
Today we celebrate our past. Independence Day is a remembrance of our ancestors that make up American history. Forefathers like George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Patrick Henry and Benjamin Franklin sacrificed their lives to live out what they believed. They fought for American independence and won our freedom in the 18th century. I join you in that celebration. At the same time, I propose we
The Role of Social Emotional Learning in Overcoming Anxiety
Some who read this post know my story. Both of my kids are now fully-functioning adults, but each has had their wrestling match with anxiety and depression while they were in school. It impacted our entire family. Bethany was a fun-loving teen whose favorite pastime was laughter and whose favorite word was “chill.” At 18, however, we saw her spiral into
When You’re Angry With Students: Six Steps to Take
Two years ago, I was asked to speak at a high school, and arrived a day early for some meetings in town. While my colleagues got some work done, I chose to take an hour to visit the school, incognito, and observe a typical day on campus. It was enlightening. Most of what I saw was predictable—students and teachers going through routines,
The Message Our Kids Receive From the Miss America Pageant
Did you hear the recent news, just announced on June 5th? The Miss America pageant is making some changes to its competition. It’s something people have been talking about for decades and now—it’s finally happening. For the first time in almost a century, contestants are not required to strut across a runway in their bathing suits. While swimsuits will still be
The 30-Year-Old Son Who Refused to Move Out: Three Lessons Learned
The story made the national news over the last few weeks. I think it did because so many of us found it preposterous. Did you catch the story? New York parents decided to sue their 30-year-old son who refused to move out of their house. Sound a little strange? Keep reading. Evidently, Michael Rotondo decided to remain in his parents’ home
Six Traits That Predict High Performance in Life
I just spoke to a mom who’s a bit melancholy right now. Her 24-year-old son has stalled. Growing up, her son made excellent grades in school and even played two sports. She and her husband both felt good about their son’s future. Surely, he was going to flourish as an adult just as he did as a student. But it’s not
Seven Symptoms of Too Much Social Media Use
According to Common Sense Media, 50% of teens say they are addicted to their cell phone. While CSM concludes more study is needed to determine how deep the digital addiction is, teens feel the symptoms and consequences of it. It’s a growing issue in middle class America. Two-thirds of parents, 66%, feel their teens spend too much time on their mobile device. Phones have
Should We Monitor Our Kids’ Social Media Use?
Parents, teachers, coaches, youth workers and employers are all attempting to figure out the “new normal” that kids experience in a world of “pings” and “rings” from their phone. It seems we are all still attempting to civilize this portable device. Let’s dig into it. Should We Monitor Kids’ Use of Social Media? Parents differ on their opinions about whether to check
Why Every Team Needs a Four-Point Line
Not long ago, my teammate, Cody Braun, told me about the strategy the Philadelphia 76ers have used to get to where they are today. Years ago, they began playing for the future—not so much for the moment. They sacrificed wins at the time, losing many games during those seasons to earn a higher pick in the NBA draft. In other
Are We Sending Students the Wrong Message?
Reports have surfaced recently that some universities are disbanding “outdoor clubs” that have been going on for nearly a century. Why? They are too unsafe. For a century, these student-led outdoor clubs have enabled college students to get outside for hiking, biking, fishing and climbing. Today, however, all of these activities just seem…well, too risky. University officials from one of the schools, Penn
A Lesson on Engaging Students from Southwest Flight 1380
We all heard about the Southwest Airlines, Flight 1380—the flight that had an engine fail two weeks ago and was forced to make an emergency landing in Philadelphia. One woman was killed as shrapnel flew through a window into the plane after the engine exploded. It had to be a terrifying experience for everyone onboard. Several others were injured before
How to Earn the Trust of Generation Z
The latest research on young people, those 20 and younger, reveals some insights into the mindset of teenagers. One that may surprise you—while teens today love to engage with social media—they love their privacy too. Even more than you do. One of the top ten patterns spotted in the Social Media Trends 2018 Report is vividly illustrated by all the aliases
Five Helpful Responses to Teen Anxiety and Depression
So how do you know if your teen is experiencing genuine symptoms of anxiety or depression, or if they’re simply, well…uh…a teenager. Adolescents have always shown symptoms of moodiness because of the hormone changes taking place, due to the life station they’re in. They can be emotional, withdrawn or even act out. Often, these are just signs of the times.
Five Steps to Transform Student Protests into Learning Moments
I know high school and college educators who penalized students for participating in the “walkout” on March 14th. I also have teacher-friends who walked out with those students and then discussed the implications of such protests and demonstrations in a civics class. Both of these educators have reasons for their choices. Some gave suspensions or detentions to high school students,
Our Gift to You to Celebrate 15 Years
It’s stunning to remember what the world looked like fifteen years ago. It was in 2003, I launched “Growing Leaders”–a not-for-profit that partners with schools and organizations to resource them in building emerging leaders who are ready for life. Reflect on 2003. The Internet was only about 10 years old and some still wondered if it was a fad. Here is
When Leaders Act Like Kids, and Kids Act Like Leaders
While on a flight home from California, I watched the movie, “Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri.” It’s an award-winning film about a hurting woman who takes on the local police, who’ve failed to locate the criminal who’s assaulted and murdered her daughter. In the midst of the story, viewers discover why she’s really upset over the tragedy. On the
Four Ways to Mentor Young Entrepreneurs
Did you know that today’s teen leaders and inventors are part of a long line of young entrepreneurs throughout history? Believe it or not, many of the world’s most incredible minds started displaying their brilliance very young, coming up with television, telephones and trampolines, as well as braille, calculators, popsicles and ear muffs—all before their 20th birthdays. So, how do we mentor such “out of the box” young people,
How Much Is Too Much Social Media Use?
Even though they’re no longer a couple, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie both recently confirmed they put safety measures on the Internet to provide boundaries for their children. They definitely plan to keep watch on their social media use as their children age. Apple CEO Tim Cook recently suggested he wouldn’t want his nephew on a social network. Years ago, Apple
Eight Reasons Why Now’s the Right Time to Develop Young Leaders
When I was in high school and college, I don’t remember anyone talking about leadership. It was not a topic of conversation; it was not a course I could attend; it was not even a challenge that adults (teachers or coaches) gave me on campus. It is safe to say—leadership wasn’t even a category in my mind. The first mention of
Marches & Elections: Gen Z Isn’t Waiting for Permission to Change the World
Sophie is a high school junior. I met her a few weeks ago during an invigorating conversation with several of her peers. When the topic of social change came up, she chimed in with a memorable line: “We’re not waiting for adults to make the changes we need in our world.” She then smiled and said, “It’s up to us.” Apparently,
Parent’s Guide to Social Media Use for Kids
Even though they’re no longer a couple, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie both recently confirmed they put safety measures on the Internet to provide boundaries for their children. They definitely plan to keep watch on their social media use as they age. Apple CEO Tim Cook recently suggested he wouldn’t want his nephew on a social network. Years ago, Apple Founder
Yale’s Most Popular Class Ever and What We Can Learn from It
A few years ago, psychology professor, Laurie Santos, proposed a new elective class at Yale University. She believed it would be a helpful and relevant course for students. No one had any idea how popular it would become. Are you ready to hear the subject? It’s a class on happiness. She tries to teach students how to lead a happier, more satisfying
The Research on What Creates Satisfied and Successful Kids
I’ve been a Type 1 diabetic since 1980. When I was first diagnosed, the technology for patients like me was average at best. Insulin was available, but I had to take multiple injections every day; we measured glucose levels instead of total carbs and I had to test my blood sugar levels with a urine sample. They told me I
The A,B,C’s of Building Coping Skills in Your Students
I recently returned from a leadership training event that included both students and staff/faculty at Texas Tech. This campus is full of incredibly smart individuals and high performing coaches and athletes. Like other universities, however, it’s a place of high pressure to make the grade, make the team and make the most of opportunities. It was while I was there I
Exciting and Scary New Realities Coming This Year
Technology has always impacted the way we do life, but I’m not sure if we recognize just how it’s changed us along the way. Whenever new gadgets or devices enter our daily life there is usually an upside and a downside. In the century following the Civil War, a handful of technologies revolutionized our existence. Consider some examples: The light
New Report Details the Devastating Effects Social Media Is Having on Generation Z
Today, we hear from Andrew McPeak. Andrew is a next gen researcher, speaker, and author for Growing Leaders. A study released in Jan 2018 by Barna Research Group reveals that Generation Z is more emotionally affected by the perils of social media than other generations who are also online. Utilizing a quantitative survey of 1,490 nationally representative students—ages 13 to 18 across the US—researchers
Our Narrative: One Variable to Reduce Student Stress
In the final week of January—our launch into a new year—Americans again felt the anguish of a school shooting. A 15-year-old boy shot several of his peers, killing two and wounding more than a dozen others at a rural Kentucky high school. That attack, the third at or near a U.S. school in just three days, serves to deepen the
How Is Digital Text Affecting Student Comprehension?
Today, we hear from Andrew McPeak. Andrew is a next gen researcher, speaker, and author for Growing Leaders. A recent article from the National Education Association explored the question of whether or not digital reading is equal to reading in print. Their findings were quite telling. “While digital reading ‘is part and parcel of living and learning in the 21st century,’ […] educators should still
Practicing the Lost Art of Moderation
I’ve noticed a missing word in our vocabulary for a decade now. I rarely hear the word “moderation.” Instead, I see both students and adults becoming addicted to technology, including everyday devices like phones, tablets or video games. Believe it or not, students in our recent focus groups readily admitted to an addiction to both their phones and to social
Five Strategies to Prevent Gen Z from Being a Distracted Generation
Ah, we’re entering Oscar season again, where filmmakers and performers are awarded by the Academy for their work. It reminds me of what happened last year. Do you remember the fiasco that happened a year ago? It was at the 2017 Oscar Awards that one of the biggest mistakes in its history was made. The winner for the best picture was announced
How to Build Snowmen from a Snowflake Generation
For years, we’ve heard journalists, educators and employers tell us that our youngest generation in America could be called a “snowflake generation.” Why? Because so many of these kids have been raised in a delicate, soft environment, protected from life’s harsh realities and responsibilities. Some even wrote that we’ve coddled them, protecting them with “bubble wrap.” Wikipedia reminds us, “The term
Five Resilience Stories that Could Keep Your Students from Giving Up
Today, we hear from Andrew McPeak. Andrew is a next gen researcher, speaker, and author for Growing Leaders. I have the honor of spending time with some of the premier athletes around our country in Division 1 athletic programs. It’s amazing to me how hard they work for success in their sport. Sadly, as I read about our country, these student athletes are the
One Simple Way to Help Teens Mature in the 21st Century
I marvel when I watch a college freshman quarterback play well under the pressure of TV cameras and 90,000 fans watching in person. My goodness, the poor guy is still a teenager. We’ve all seen the opposite, however, where a young athlete crumbles under the pressure of a close game in the fourth quarter. While this might be disappointing, it
The Vital Role Mentors Play in a Student’s Growth
Over the holidays I watched my daughter, Bethany, interact with Jesse, one of her mentors. Jesse is a licensed therapist, and Bethany has become a counselor herself. Jesse began to ask her questions about who played a role in molding her worldview and values as a young professional; who was it that molded her into the woman she was today?
Parents: Your Sons Need Your Help Getting Ready for Fraternity Life
Today, we hear from Andrew McPeak. Andrew is a next gen researcher, speaker, and author for Growing Leaders. In 2011 George Desdunes, a 19-year-old sophomore student at Cornell University was awakened in the middle of the night—gagged, bound, and taken. As a pledging member of Sigma Alpha Epsilon, he probably expected something like this to happen, but no one expected what happened next. Late
What If Our “New Normal” Isn’t Good?
I’ll never forget September of 2001. President George W. Bush attempted to help Americans deal with the horrific terrorist attacks in New York and Washington D.C. In his remarks, he said we must prepare ourselves for a “new normal.” By this term, he meant that what is common and routine; what’s becoming normal for our daily lives will be different. And
Six Qualities of a Great Mentor
As this year comes to an end, I thought it might be helpful to talk to you about finding a mentor. For you, a mentor might mean reconnecting with a person you feel is ahead of you in their career and nudging you to take a new step. For your students, this discussion might be helpful as they pursue growth
An Unlikely Young Leader Who Survived the Slums in Tanzania
I have a story to tell you about a young man who inspires me to continue my work with students. I invite you to relax for a moment and fasten your seatbelt for a short biography of an unlikely young leader, surviving in the slums of Tanzania, Africa. As you may already know, incredible young people live everywhere in the
How to Overcome After-the-Holiday Slump
We live in a funny and unique day. On the whole, Americans have never enjoyed so much “stuff.” We have more possessions and live in a more materialistic era than at any point in the last century. At the same time, we are less happy than in past days. Go figure. I’ve written earlier about teen’s unhappiness globally. Studies show teens
A New Holiday Tradition—Better Than Giving Gifts
Just a brief post to wish you a very, merry Christmas holiday season and to challenge you to consider doing something new this year. For centuries, Christmas has been a time for giving gifts, spending time with loved ones and taking time off. Regardless of your background, most of you perpetuate the ritual of cherishing the people nearest you by giving
Four Simple Ways to Re-Energize Over Christmas Break
I recently read a short story from Lynn Thibodeau, a mother of an eight-year-old son. Her husband had given her some beauty products last Christmas and she was about wash off one of the facial masks, when her son walked into the bathroom and asked what she was doing. She explained to him: “It was a present from your daddy
Three Refreshing Conversations to Have with Your Teen This Holiday
The holiday season is upon us. Schools are finishing exams, and everyone will soon be off for a few weeks of Christmas vacation. Ahhh. Finally, we all get a break. For some, the holidays are the most cherished time of the year. (My mother embodied this mindset. She wished family visits and Christmas lights would last for months.) For others,
One Crucial Gift We Must Give to Teens
Did you know that among young teens, suicide attempts and emergency room visits have dramatically increased over the last eight years? In fact, girls committing self-harm has tripled since 2009. While overdosing on medication was most common among girls, self-inflicted injuries with sharp and blunt objects also increased during the study period. This data was released recently by the U.S.