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The Secret to Moving a Kid From Languishing to Leading (Part 1)

Since releasing my last book, Artificial Maturity, I’ve been interacting with leaders nationwide to discover if this idea rings true to them. Do kids today seem to be experiencing a virtual maturity—built upon lots of data and games—instead of genuine maturity?

languishing-to-leading

photo credit: rofltosh via photopin cc

Let me be clear, I do believe there is such a thing as “relative maturity”, meaning a six year old can be mature for their age. However, I’m talking about a phenomenon our culture has created—kids who know a lot, but have experienced very little, in terms of the real world. It’s produced millions of kids who fear entering adulthood and get stuck in adolescence, moving back home after college, with no job, no experience and very few life skills. I believe we should have been working on this issue long before they got to college.

May I suggest where some of this artificial maturity may come from?

  • Their friendship interactions are often virtual, not real. Many of them are handled on Facebook and other social networking sites.
  • Their free time is often virtual, not real. Millions of hours are spent on video games simulating the real world, but missing the real experience.
  • Their communication is often virtual, not real. The average teen sends 3,000 texts a month, meaning they never read body language or non-verbal cues.
  • Their after-school time is often virtual, not real. Instead of working jobs, they are doing recitals or rehearsals which are mere simulations of the real world.

Please don’t get me wrong. None of the items on the list above are bad. But they’re all artificial experiences, imitations of real responsibility and meaningful work. Kids are afraid when they graduate because they suddenly realize they’ve never had real responsibility on their shoulders. Mom or dad had it.

Real Maturity Cannot Happen without Reality

We thought that self-esteem could be taught by merely telling them they were “amazing kids.” We thought we could soften the harsh realities of life by removing consequences for their conduct and just talking to them about disobedience. Pause and think for a moment about what this really accomplishes. It’s like going to a local gym for a workout, but only looking at the weights—not actually lifting them. Real maturity cannot happen without reality.

Stay with me tomorrow, as I respond to this question: what’s the secret to moving kids from languishing to leading? How do we move them from artificial maturity to authentic maturity? I will lay out a plan to do just that.

Artificial-Maturity-blogClick here to get the full story. You can pick up a copy of the book, Artificial Maturity, and get your game plan for developing students.

3 Comments

  1. Chas Elam on October 24, 2012 at 4:02 am

    So, true! Right on Tim Elmore. This younger generation & older to, is to dependant on impersonal social sites.. Easy to get caught up in txtng,twitter, emails & more.. Not all bad, just need to do it in moderation.

    • Tim Elmore on October 24, 2012 at 10:06 am

      Balance is definitely the key.

  2. berta on May 21, 2015 at 9:04 am

    Dr. Elmore again provides interested adults with information to help as
    they guide children and young adults. An interesting read filled with
    suggestions and questions to help with life-applications. I have
    referred to this book in email messages to ministry leaders. I also
    purchased copies for my niece and nephew who are rearing some of the
    next generation’s leaders.

    Greets

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The Secret to Moving a Kid From Languishing to Leading (Part 1)