Back in February, I wrote the blog, “Three Huge Mistakes We Make Leading Kids…and How to Correct Them”. Today, we are going to discuss ten ideas that you can use to lead better as a parent, educator, or coach.
In today’s society, we are a very engaged group of adults; I believe we are so engaged that we may have created some unintended consequences as a result of our style of leadership. This podcast focuses on ten ideas that I would use, to correct our mistakes that we’ve made as teachers, coaches, and parents.
Idea #1: Don’t Think Control, Think Connect
- Our natural tendency is to govern our kids actions and decisions. Oftentimes, become control freaks.
- Control is a myth. Studies show that parents who over-program their child’s schedule often breed kids who rebel as teens.
- Seek connection with your students, to earn the opportunity to influence.
Idea #2: Stop thinking Inform, think Interpret
- This is the first generation of kids that do not need adults for access to information
- Kids have content, without context
- Provide a balanced perspective
- “They don’t need us to access information, but to process information” –Len Sweet
Idea #3: Don’t think Entertain, think Equip
- Adopt the perspective, “How can I equip my young person for the future?
- Happiness is a by-product, not a pursuit.
- Move from busying kids for happiness, to enriching kids for fulfillment.
Idea #4: Don’t think do it For them, do it With them
- “You can do it, we can help” –Home Depot
- “Healthy and robust self-esteem actually comes from achievement, not merely affirmation.” -APA
- Don’t do it yourself, transfer the skill.
Idea #5: Don’t think Impose, think Expose
- Kids have been overwhelmed by options, which we have used to create fences and boundaries.
- We need to give them opportunities, that they cannot pass up.
- Create scarcity and ownership.
Idea #6: Don’t think Prescriptive, think Descriptive
- Encourage your young people to create a goal and reach it.
- Provide opportunities for young people to own their method.
- Help develop their ambition and creativity.
Idea #7: Don’t think Protect, Think Prepare
- Think long-term- “I want to get you ready, for the world that awaits you.”
- “80% of last year senior college class intends to move home after graduation.” -Baltimore Sun
- Greatest gift you can give your child is the ability to get along without you.
Idea #8: Don’t think Tell, think Ask
- Kids are not ready for the freedom to answer questions. We must encourage self-regulation and lead with questions so they can own their journey.
- When we lead with questions, we force young people to think and choose on their own.
Idea #9: Don’t think Cool, think Real
- Kids don’t want cool adults, they want you to be real, authentic, and relevant.
- We need to be self-aware to let kids see what life should look like in their future.
Idea #10: Don’t think Lecture, think Lab
- In science class, lecture is often the boring part. Lab on the other hand, is more exciting because it is engaging.
- Kids aren’t looking for a lecture; they want experiences to try out what they know.
- Don’t transmit an idea, transform a life.
World-wide, psychologists are discovering the down-side of our obsession over kid’s self-esteem, safety, and happiness. Personally, I want to be a leader, teacher, and parent that young people see as someone who has made these corrections; that are doing this Interpret, not Inform, Expose not Impose, and want to Pull along, not Push along…and that is my wish for you as well.
I encourage you to write down these 10 ideas, so that you can really think about changes that you can make to lead your kids better. Focus on 1-2 of these areas, and I am confident you will see growth in your own leadership journey.
What topic would you like for us to address on the next episode of the Growing Leaders Podcast? Leave a comment.